God

Over the past year or more and other times throughout my life I have heard a lot about my need to turn to God to help me through tough times.  I'm pretty open about my relationship with God.  Do I believe in him?  I think I do.  This last year has defianetly made me do alot of questioning though as to what's real and what's not.  If there is a God then I ask him why.  I have asked that question alot over the last year.  Why have things that have happened to me, us, happened???  I always say that the saying God never gives you more than you can handle doesn't make sense to me because if the were the case God must think I'm superwoman plus superman plus whatever other super person there is out there because the level of traumatic events and stress that I have experiences is huge over the past year.  You know its bad when your best friends is concerned that you can't take one more thing or you might just snap.  So if there is a God then why I ask.  Why do people like me have to experience all of the things I have had to go through.  Why do my children have to experience things that they have gone through?  I get that he gave humans the ability to choose and all of my choices have been far from amazing.  Yet in the past when I've turned to him during good and bad times my life got worse, more stressful, more traumatic, and more devistating.  Is there a God?  I don't know and I don't know that I ever will.  That's my preception at least.  If there is a God I hope he does have a "plan" for us because so far this one is more than questionable.