Today has been a decent day. It's a day that I would be ok with repeating more than once. Some days are not even worth finishing so it is nice having a uneventful day. Today I took Zach and Izaiah to the dentist. However, upon Izaiah's arrival home from school his upper lip was the size of his nose (and no I am not exaggerating.) Poor kid...I guess he's had some sort of reaction to the numbing medicine that they gave him. My poor Izaiah still has more to be done. See there's a story behind Izaiah's dental work. Izaiah is adopted. His biological mother did a variety of drugs during and after her pregnancy. Izaiah was born addicted to these drugs and went through withdraw for months. She didn't loose Izaiah to CPS until he was about a week old. She was actually breast feeding him while continuing to use drugs........nothing like some cocaine breast milk to start your day with. Ridiculous!!! I still get fired up about it all. Due to the drug use during the entire pregnancy Izaiah's teeth and gums during development were compromised and were not able to build the calcium and other stuff that make them form and make them strong. His teeth are weak, smaller than usual, and very at risk for dental problems. How frustrated he will be when he gets older to know that his continued battle with his teeth is because his biological mother wasn't willing to put his health in front of her drug use. Anyways, he is a trooper about it all and continues to do very well at the dentist.
Zacharia did great!! He usually struggles and has serious sensory overload at the dentist but he did a great job and got everything done without a fight. I'm so proud of them both.
Rick got off work early today due to the weather. He came home as a walking mud man. We were able to spend some time together getting groceries and Christmas lights. It's not often that we are able to have some time alone with each other anymore. It was nice to just relax and work together to get the items we needed with an occasional acting like a teenager in the store to see who could embarrass the other one more. It's funny how frugal we both are becoming, including making a grocery list :-). He is pretty impressed with the "house wife" role I have taken on. However, I am not. I have worked since I was 15 years old, so to not work is a different way of life for me.
Today I pondered about................
I thought allot today about my life, where it is, and where I want it to be. I'm getting frustrated about not working and not having any job leads that pay enought. I am pending financial aide to start my Masters program and have confirmed my acceptance in to ISU, even though the thought of going back to school sends a chill down my spine. Right now I feel like I'm sitting around gaining weight and being lonely while everyone is at work and school. But, I'm working on coming up with a plan to address both issues. I wonder everyday if I made the right decision to move here. We have been able to make a place for us here and it is starting to feel like home to us. Just a few days ago Izaiah was eating his breakfast and turned around and said "I like it here but I'm still not sure about the school." I find that to be a small success!! He's slowly making friends and enjoying being at home. Zach's school transition is taken a day at a time. Some days are good, some days are not so good, some days are like he needs an exorcism. He tends to validate his anger towards his new peers as "well he's annoying." Zach isn't use to being in a classroom with so many verbal kids....he's use to being the most verbal and capable in his classroom, so to have competition in these areas is a bit of a challenge for him. He misses his old teacher Ms. Julie. One day when I had to pick him up early he said that he hoped if he was bad enough that he would be able to go back to Ms. Julie's room. That was a day that we cried together and agreed that he's come to terms with accepting the move and new school and I would come to terms and accept my current role at home. He looked up at me and told me I should be happy because I'm really good at it. Yep, the crying continued.
So the things I pondered today are about whether or not I've made the right decision starting fresh here at a new place and new town, what am I going to do to keep myself busy until I find out about school, coming up with an exercise plan of some sort to loose the extra weight I've gained being a flippin "house wife", and what should I make for dinner :-) These are my thoughts for today.
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